I gave birth to a healthy baby girl, only this time the baby was not mine nor my husbands.

Written by Anonymous
12 Dec

It was my sisters and her partners. It is heartbreaking to see parents wanting a child and after several attempts, not being able to successfully carry one.  


My husband and I made the decision to become surrogate parents as we witnessed the troubles that the intending parents were facing to carry a baby. We were certain that our family was complete with our two precious little girls, aged 7 and 4. We wanted to help.


As easy as it may sound, that is far from the truth. We had to undergo numerous hurdles to even have the whole process approved, followed by several blood tests, scans and lastly failed transfers.  It is hard when it does not work, but relaying the news to intending parents was even harder. It was an emotional and physical rollercoaster that we experienced, but the support shown by all was overwhelming, in particular by our nearest and dearest.


Another thing of importance to us was our girls: How would they take it, how would they feel?  It was not a sibling but a cousin to them.  Too young to explain the real reasons why the surrogacy path was chosen, but telling them that mummy was the ‘fat one’ and that their aunty was ‘too skinny’ mummy had to carry the baby. This was enough to have them understand that at the end of this journey they would have a baby cousin. 


We kept the girls engaged, by taking them to scans and obstetrician appointments so that they can experience this with us also.  Girls were also happy to share the story with their friends and teachers, which lead us to believe that they understood what was going on. This was relieving.


I didn’t know for sure what emotions I would experience after the birth, I only knew how I felt at that moment.  As a carrier, many thought that I would be attached to the baby, however this was not the case (the baby does and will always hold a special place in our hearts).  I was looking forward to the birth so that I could finally see the new family together.   


The feeling of helping another couple become parents is indescribable. The best part is that you know that you have done it for the right people and reasons in particular when you see the parents finally get to hold their child for the first time.


Please note that these are the opinions of the author not necessarily of Virtus Health.


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