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Dr David Molloy's picture

Is it a boy? But we want a girl!

I sympathise with the many couples which consult with me each year about the possibility of accessing sex selection for family balancing reasons.  For the most part, these couples are asking for genuine and valid reasons, and I understand my patients’ desire to experience the differences, joys and difficulties of raising both boys and girls.

So why not allow Australians to get the balance right?  The debate around whether sex selection for social reasons should be legalised in Australia has been on the agenda since 2004 when the National Health and Medical Research Institute outlawed sex selection for social reasons on moral and ethical grounds.  Ethicists, lawyers, scientists, doctors and the community have all argued their cases for and against with varying degrees of intensity over the years, but are we getting closer to an accepting community that wants the right to choose?

I am for it.  Having worked in the field of reproductive medicine helping infertile couples to conceive for more than 25 years, it is clear that many couples will try anything to help them predetermine the sex of their future child through all sorts of pre-conceptual natural remedies and methods widely publicised and available on the internet.  Information about special diets, complementary medicines and the timing of intercourse all claim to offer the solution.  To think that people aren’t using these methods already is naïve. Couples have used these techniques for centuries.

All of these methods are not regulated or banned by government.  The only restrictions are on embryo selection using IVF - WHICH WORKS.

The risk that we face by not allowing sex selection is that couples that can’t access it here will go overseas where it’s legal, such as India or the United States.  On average around a dozen or so couples I treat head overseas every year for treatment with the desire to sex select.  In some countries the quality control regulations may not be as stringent as those in Australia, and in the United States, the cost of treatment at some private clinics can be upwards of US$20,000. There is also a greater risk that couples will choose to terminate a pregnancy if the fetus is not the desired sex.

The argument for allowing sex selection focuses on freedom of choice for couples.  The technology is available in Australia, and is currently used for medical conditions that affect one gender, such as haemophilia and muscular dystrophy, so that only unaffected embryos will be chosen for transfer.  So why not allow families who will self fund, and have the desire to even the gender playing field in their family, have the right to choose? 

The case against social sex selection is more complex.  The argument centres on the premise that parenthood should be based on the unconditional love and acceptance of a child for who they are. There is also concern that sex selection will lead to a bias towards one gender, such as less women and more men.  This is likely to be more of an issue in Asian or Middle Eastern countries where boys are favoured over girls.  In the United States, doctors estimate that 80% of couples choose girls over boys. 

Then there are those that argue sex selection is a slippery slope towards ‘designer babies’.  The technical term for this, eugenics, allows features such as eye colour, height and intelligence to be chosen prior to conception.  I don’t think anybody who is arguing the case for sex selection is suggesting we go as far as eugenics – that is a different argument altogether.  Although an event held at The Australian Forum for Live Debate last week argued the case for and against designer babies.  The audience was polled prior to the debate and after, with more than 27% of the undecided audience swinging towards the pro argument by the end of the debate.  Perhaps this is a conversation for me to tackle in a future post.

Many people don’t care about the sex of their children – most just want a healthy baby; there are few surprises in life and for many, this is one they are happy to accept.  But most people that do care about the gender of their future baby are the ones that already have two, three or four children of one sex, and are desperate for a boy (or vice versa). 

So what needs to happen for sex selection to be legalised in Australia?  Demand from the community will be the clincher.

If you are like me and support the move for legalised sex selection for family balancing reasons, let us know your thoughts here.  Do you or someone you know wish to choose the sex of your future children, and for what reason….family balancing?

Watch a recent episode on the SBS Insight program regarding 'Designing Babies' where Dr David Molloy was a guest.

Professor Michael Chapman adds:

"I recently appeared on Channel 7's The Morning Show to talk about the increasing number of Australian's travelling overseas for Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD); specifically to choose the sex of their baby.

Sex selection for family balancing is an option most commonly considered by Australian families who have a number of children of the same sex, rather than those trying for their first child.

As David's blog explains in more detail, in Australia, fertility clinics are tightly regulated, and National Health and Medical Research Council guidelines state that we cannot use PGD for sex selection family balancing; only for medical reasons (for example, in diagnosing conditions including haemophilia).

The key issues for families considering travelling overseas for PGD include how they will look after their other children (in most cases), and what expenses they will incur as a result.

They also need to consider how they choose their overseas fertility clinic.  I would strongly advise they speak to an Australian fertility specialist first, to see if they have knowledge of the doctors and clinics overseas that offer this service.

Patients also need to consider how many patient cycles the overseas clinic undertakes in a year, and what their success rates are."

NHMRC Review

 

The National Health and Medical Research Council (NHMRC) is calling for public submissions on its draft guidelines that would potentially allow gender selection for non-medical reasons when undergoing assisted reproductive technology. Find out how to have your say on the NHMRC website »

 

Comments

I've always dreamt of becoming a mum but through many reasons I find myself childless at 41. I didn't hold off on purpose but the dream was of a family and I only met my wonderful man 2 years ago and for most of that we have been trying. Although I would thrilled with either sex I know that this will be our one and only child. When the technology is there why shouldn't we have the option? It seems so unfair to go through the difficult and long journey of IVF and not have some control of the outcome. I think its easier for young women to have no preference as they will probably be having more than 1 child therefore increasing their chances of having both genders.
I am also eager to have a boy.
I think it's extremely difficult to not be tempted to use the available technology, if it wasn't an option perhaps we would have not given up trying after our fourth son however knowing its a possibility we have not rushed into the procedure as we wanted to make sure we could manage a fifth child. Our fourth son is divine however incredibly challenging and it has taken him to turn 8 for us to feel we can cope with another child. I have also tried my hardest to be grateful which we are more than you can imagine but as above we are surrounded by boys in our families and I have dreamt of having a sister or a daughter all my life. I do feel guilty however it's an emotion I find so difficult to fight. I am now faced with my age being an issue as to whether I will even get pregnant. This combined with lack of funds to be travelling to and from the States as it will most likely take several cycles and having our children looked after with their busy schedules all make it near impossible. I think modifications should be set in place to avoid social issues, perhaps you should have to have 3 or more of one sex. I can't see this harming anyone and can't imagine however she turns out how much I would love and cherish her.. Of all the awful things people do this is the complete opposite. I think this is extremely responsible and if couples are prepared to go to these great lengths and expenses they should definitely be allowed. I'm also sure the majority of people objecting are not in this position and as usual the most judgmental are judging from an unknown place.
I totally agree with gender selection. We have five beautiful girls which we love very dearly but would also love to have a son. Not a day goes by that my girls don't ask when are we getting a baby brother? It breaks my heart to tell them that it won't happen. Because we have this regulation I am now older and if the regulation was to be changed here I would have to use donor eggs. I have looked into going overseas but when you add on egg donor costs it is totally unaffordable even to the wealthy. Please change the regulation to allow it.
We have 5 girls and would dearly love a boy. Please allow sex selection in australia. Why are we always so behind the times. We pay for it and we raise our own children Why shouldn't we choose?
I also have 3 boys love them so much but would love a girl to complete my family. but scared only one more chance because i have had 3 csections. so please allow it in australia soon. please
I have 3 beautiful little men who I love SO much and would not swap any of them for a girl, BUT, I feel so much grief that I do not have a daughter. The day I found out I was having my 3rd son (and my last baby) I cried my eyes out and remember thinking this is the worst day of my life. How can it be possible that I would never have the experience of having a daughter? After 3 years I can see that adding a little girl to our family would be of benefit to all of us. It is DEFINATELY NOT just about me having a daughter. My boys would be thrilled to have a sister and would love to see my husband with a little girl. If PGD was legal in Australia, I 'may' have had the opportunity to have a baby girl but unfortunately for me I think my time has nearly run out. Can somebody please advise what or who may be taking action on this legislation so I can do my best to help make PGD available to families in Australia?
I totally support gender selection in Australia, which should be considered as basic human right--freedom. Is the gender selection ban in Austrlia going to be reviewed sometime this year? if not, can anyone suggest how to organize a treatment oversea? American or Thailand?
Please allow gender selection in Australia, it is heart breaking for many couples to not experience the joys of raising both sexes. I too am in this predicament.
Me and my husband have three beautiful girls an wish to have another in the near future an we would love this to be legalised in Australia so we can have our desired baby boy!
The way I figure it is, never ever judge unless you walk a mile in someone elses shoes. If you cant have babies then its no ones fault and we dont know how you feel unless we can sympathise with you, but we cant Im sorry. If you havent found love till 40 we cant sympathise with that either, Im sorry. If you have three of the same sex YES we can. I love all 3 of my boys. It makes me so angry to be judged by people who have NO idea what it feels like to walk a mile in my shoes. Im a great mother I have an amazing husband, we have amazing boys and I have learnt to accept what Ive been given, I dont want to replace what I have I only want to love a daughter, to brush her long golden hair, for someone to say she looks like me, to say shes daddys little girl, to hand down my wedding dress to her, to watch her get married, to help her when she has a child of her own, to give her nana a granddaughter after not having a daughter, to sharing the most amazing bond with my mum and to have the bond to my own daughter, to losing the closest sister in the world to me. Its the bond and connection that we crave, its the bond that I see when my boys wrestle their daddy and Im watching from the sideline. Im sorry to all of you that cant understand, or wont try to. I will have a daughter and she will be loved just like my boys. Her name will be Grace Eileen. There was only ever one name picked out and its my final try. If I see a Y on the screen abortion is the thing I would sadly consider and this is why it should be legallised. Dont deny peoples right to be great parents. None of these gender balancing families look down the nose at IVF babies who are 'artificially' created. So so sad....
After 7 cycles of icsi/ivf 8 miscarriages & 2 beautiful baby boys, I more than anybody should be happy right? Well, i would do almost anything to have a little girl. We have 2 embryos in storage from our last cycle and we are contemplating trying a frozen cycle. Problem is this will be our last shot & I am quite sure the 2 in storage are boys (timeline of developmental). PGD is more in depth than just wishing for a particular sex but it should be for the well informed parent/s to decide morality/risks involved.It is easy for people who have never had to go down this path to sit in judgement or say if god wanted you to have a girl he will decide. Well, sorry ,but if I left it up to God i would be childless! I whole heartedly praise the marvel of ivf despite the fact in my experience i have endured more heart break than i thought possible. Sex selection is far from a "designer baby" & I honestly do not believe it would sway the overall gender balance significantly 1 way or the other. Not everyone has a deep internal heavy heart with the sadness they will never have the joy of being a parent to a little boy or little girl and unfortunately people do terminate a healthy baby based purely on sex or go to a foreign country and take a gamble or have more children than they really want or can afford in hopes that 'this time" i will get what i want. We have the means of gender selection and it is legal here only under certain circumstances but i am strongly of the opinion it should be made available for family balance with all the information of what that actually means made available.
I agree with gender selection and if not legalised in Australia I might have to go overseas for treatment.
It is need to be legalised in Australia .
I have two girls and love them unconditionally. I would love a boy and would consider going overseas to undergo the selection process. Cost isn't as much an issue than making arrangements for my children to be looked after while we are away. Everyone should have access to the procedure here in Australia. If its not covered by Medicare then the same people who would go overseas for the procedure would do it here and I don't think an influx of people would do it just because its available here. I'd rather balance my family on my third child than keep going until I get my boy but have more children than I want or could afford!
I am concerned that people have their heart set on one gender or another, I can only assume based on gender stereotypes. Each individual in unique and different regardless of gender. Lets not assume that just because you have a daughter she is going to be sweet and sensitive and just because you have a boy he is going to be tough and rugged. Wake-up people and celebrate the diversity of each individual because it is not until that you open your eyes to the individuality of the soul that you can appreciate its uniqueness. Mother of three VERY different boys.
We are suppose to live in a democratic society not a dictator ship no one has the right to make decisions for me but me especially if the only person it concerns is me. I am going to Thailand for ivf gender selection at a cost of over $20000 and my 3 boys are coming with me. As for everyone saying leave it to nature/god that is easy for u to say but I bet if u needed a organ transplant and I said leave it to nature/god the outcome is not in your favour and before u say that's different no it isn't u don't know how it feels for anyone to really need or want something to for fill their lives until u haved walked in there shoes don't judge and let me make my own decisions. It is not going to affect you at all. LEGALISE GENDER SELECTION
I have 3 wonderful boys aged 9,5,2 and wouldn't trade them for the world, I love them dearly. When We were trying for our 3rd we tried diet,timing, position etc... And was told I was having a girl.We were over the moon, then my little man was born, I was devastated at the time, but I would not change a thing, his my little man.... But I still long for a little girl, to experience raising both boys and a girl. I wish they would legalise it in Australia..I would not consider this if I didn't already have 3 boys.
I would like to see a change in the laws too. A mum of three boys whom are extremely precious to me, I do long for a daughter. I agree with all the arguments for gender selection.
I have two boys and really want a girl. As it turns out, Aspergers is passed on to all males in my family, so it would be helpful if we could predetermine the gender. I love my boys and wouldn't change a thing, but I am now trying to work out if we can save to go to the US or should we just finish our family as is.
A month ago I have birth to my 3rd son, I love him so much like I do my other 2 boys. My husband and I decided to try some 'natural' gender selection techniques to no avail. I have wanted and dreamed of a little girl my whole life, my husband and I have had a name picked since we first started dating 10 years ago. My mum is my best friend and I have always wanted a chance to have that with a daughter of my own. For the last month I have felt so empty and lost, I can't stop crying and truly have an aching heart. I simply don't understand why social gender selection illegal, if you don't agree with it don't do it. It's a far cry from designer babies. Please don't judge us parents who have multiples of the same sex and want the opposite, you will never understand our pain. I love my boys and hate feeling like this but it just won't go away.
when i found out my 2nd was a boy i cried a lot, when i found out my 3rd was a boy i went into mourning for the whole of the pregnancy. i felt an enormous sense of sadness, loss and worse of all was filled with guilt for how i felt. I cried and cried the little girl i would never meet and hated being a mother of boys on most days, i still do now on bad days. my youngest is now 1 and my desire for a little girl is still very real. how is it morally right to tell a couple with multiple children of the same gender that they are wrong for wanting the opposite gender. and for all those who feel 'offended' because they can't conceive, infertility and gender disappointment are 2 different issues and because you are not able to conceive doesn't mean other people shouldn't get the option of choosing the gender they so desire after 2, 3 or 4 of the same. it is a personal issue and it shouldn't be up to our neighbour to decide if we 'should' or 'shouldn't' have the right to gender select. it is time to legalise it, ultimately it is about helping couples who cannot create a particular gender on their own.
I am a mummy of a princess in heaven that was taken from us at just 7 weeks of age and since then we have had 3 beautiful boys 8,5 & 3 years old . Our little girl would have been 9 this year. All of my babies have been born premature and pregnancy is a challenging time for me as it is, and then weeks in NICU when they are born. We would love to keep going to get that little girl but if we were to go again with my history I would like to definitely make it a girl with gender selection so then our family could be complete. I have been through many bouts of depression and it is all related to the grief of losing our little girl and not having another one, not that having another girl will replace then one we have lost but it would make our family complete. I have all the information and costing to go to the US to have gender selection as I am 35 years old and think if I keep waiting for this to be legal in Australia I might miss out. However the cost for us to go to the US for the treatment including flights will be between $25,000-$30,000 for one cycle, money I would much rather keep in Australia.
My husband and I would love for PGD to become legal in Australia. We have four beautiful boys whom we love and cherish dearly and wouldn't change for anything. But we both would love to experience being parents to a daughter and our sons to have a sister. We cannot afford to continue having kids until we 'get a girl', perhaps we would get a daughter the next time, but it could also possibly take us 9 boys before we got a girl. I don't think people should judge others for wanting to choose their babies gender, in most cases the ones wanting to choose genders are those that are parents of 3 or more children of the same sex. And more than likely those that are judging and those that are against this technology are those that are parents of mixed genders and therefore cannot relate to these strong internal and emotional desires of those wishing for a certain gender and for that to happen they need PGD to be available in Australia. My own views on this subject changed when we delivered our fourth son. I saw a t.v program about this subject whilst I was pregnant with my 4th child and thought this was an unnatural and ridiculous topic. We didn't know the sex of our unborn child at this stage and we were both so certain we would be having a girl. However, baby boy #4 it was. My feelings about this topic immediately changed. The strong, emotional desire for a daughter is so difficult to fight agaisnt. It's always going to be there. Each and every person is unique, and that includes their emotional makeup as well, and their ability to 'let go' of their desires. For example, some couples are happy to only have children of the one gender, this doesn't mean that ALL couples should be able to deal with it and be content with one gender children. Another argument that really irritates me is the people that say things like 'its God's way', 'be happy with what you get' etc. My argument here is God would not have allowed this technology to be created if he didn't want people to access it. And what about all those infertile couples? Was it God's way of saying they should never have been able to experience being a parent? They would never have had the opportunity to become parents if it wasn't for the IVF technology, and isn't that messing with nature? I am sure that all those couples that have had successful pregnacies through IVF are extemely thankful and gratefuI that God allowed humans to make this technology. I just don't agree with how so many people can sit and judge others and decide that these laws on making PGD illegal in Australia 'because they don't agree with it' but their decisions are affecting so many couples that wish to utilise this technology. Why can't it be legal but have certain restrictions on being able to access it? For example, it can only be available to those who already have 3 or more of the same gender. Couples are willing to pay for it and so many are prepared to travel abroad to access this technolgy. This is taking money away from the Australian economy!!! I'm all for this procedure being legalised in this country and I sure hope it happens soon!!!
I am a mum of four boys and so desperately want to have a girl. It seems so crazy that I have to look outside my own country to make that happen. I love my boys and they always ask me when they can have a sister and it breaks my hear that we have to spend so much money overseas if we want that to happen. Come on Australia surely we are still not living in the dark ages!! Please Please Please change the law before we run out of time and have to spend a fortune to make it happen!
I have just given birth to our 5th boy, i love my boys dearly and I wouldnt change them for the world but why is it wrong for us to want a girl. We are going to spend close to 30k to travel and have gender selection done via IVF. I concieve easily, without trying sometimes. Why would a woman who has no trouble concieving put herslef through IVF, not only is it extremly expensive but its an emotional rollercoaster with no guarantees but we will do anything to have a daughter, even if it means travelling to the other side of the world to do so. i get so angry at the comments oh you should be grateful for what you have, who ever said i wasnt grateful. I should be happy i can have children....never said i wasnt happy. Maybe a girl just wasnt meant to be? I bet if it was me saying that to a couple that couldnt concieve there would be hell to pay. Gender selection is expensive but its our money, my body, my family. My children are well looked after so whats the problem? Im all for gender selection, lets make it happen!
Really frustrating to read through so many ignorant posts. All the "be grateful to just concieve a baby" comments are just coming across as resentful, yes its heartbreaking but if you cant concieve or miscarry multiple times thats natural selection at work, does it sit better with you knowing druggo scum dole bludging trash can naturally conceive, abuse or neglect as many babies as they want as it would be unethical to just sterilize them? Its harsh but true & you should be grateful healthy couples with the money & determination to want/get gender selection may donate the unused embryos for research to find a way for you to actually maybe concieve a baby or be your baby one day. I assume just like cosmetic surgery it will be only available to those who can afford it not something that can be claimed through medicare & by assessment of the situation etc. If people really want this they will travel overseas anyway so why be spiteful, let them have it here where we know we have the best technology & resources keeping them safer through such a procedure, the babies will be loved & it will probably also help limit unnecessary population growth with people having so many kids just to get or maybe still not get the gender they desire
I am a mum to 4 amazing boys whom I love and would never change... But I feel there is a void in my life.... A daughter. Some days I want a daughter more than I want oxygen. It's hard listening to your children ask for a little sister, or having people comment about how you don't have a little girl, it really feels like a dagger in the heart. I feel like a complete failure and feel as though I'd end up with 10 sons and no daughters if we tried naturally. Although I Am accepting of my 4 boys and love them unconditionally, i believe if I had any more boys I would be at the risk of possible EGD. It's hard to be around people with daughters, knowing I want one so badly. Jealousy and negative thoughts consume me and I find myself looking at people saying in my head " I deserve a daughter more than they do" and that is not me... that is a horrible side of me i never wish to experience.. If it can not be legalised in Australia, we will seriously need to consider going overseas. We would need to re-finance our house or take out a loan to do so, but I would happily do it, if it meant I get my long awaited daughter. Without it, I feel like our family will never be complete & I will die not knowing the joy a daughter would bring us.
I absolutely hands down agree with the opportunity to have gender selection. As someone who was previously opposed to the idea, I am now personally looking into travelling overseas for the gender selection process, as we have 4 little boys & dearly wish for a little girl to add to our brood. I adore my little men, but as others have stated, there is a longing in the pit of my stomach that can not be removed. If this was offered in Australia it would minimize a lot of the financial burden & potential of risky behavior which could be incurred in some overseas clinics. Obviously people who consider this option do not make the decision lightly, & have discussed the possibility in length! I do however agree that it would be important for some criteria to be attached to gender selection, what that criteria would be I am unsure. For god's sake, please get up with the times & allow gender selection in Australia.
Im am a mother of 3 beautiful sons and would really like to have a daughter for my last baby. Would be great for gender select to be legalised in Australia as traveling over seas with young children makes it harder but my husband and I are willing to do so as this will be our last.
Gender selection should be available to those families with 3+ of the same gender. Australia wants to legalise gay marriage but not this. We have 4 daughters. Why can't we spend our money on a little person we long for!?
I also would like to see Australia legalize gender selection for the purpose of family balancing. Whilst there are always two sides to a coin, I believe allowing couples who already have two or more biological children of the same sex in their care should be allowed to try IVF gender selection. I don't believe allowing gender selection to these couples would create a national gender imbalance... as the people who might naturally have more boys may finally choose to have a girl, and vice versa! Australia can always bring in restrictions or laws to protect this issue, just see how we have raised birth numbers with the Baby Bonus. Also I think the majority agree this option in IVF should be self funded, and for most Australians this decision would be made very seriously just as the moral issues of embryos is made by couples currently using IVF now. The reasons why couples may choose IVF are varied, but all are drawn to it because of a common strong desire. Allowing more couples the option to use IVF to fill that strong desire is a good thing, creating happier parents and therefore happier children. I'm sure politicians could come up with a string of laws to minimize the social risks surrounding this topic and to create a safe way for this to eventuate and become available to the people who's lives it effects. I think now is the time Australia!
I agree with gender selection being legalised. It would be great for couples having difficulty having children and who need IVF to be able to choose if they wish.
I think Australian law should be progressive enough to allow mothers a right to choose. After all, we each have our own moral compass on all matters in life. If someone thinks this is morally "wrong", then they shouldn't do this but they shouldn't stop other mothers for whom this decision feels "right". There is no evidence at all that there is a right or wrong answer here. This is totally subjective ground where in a civilised society each person should be allowed to make their own decision. In this case only the people involved are affected either way. No one is hurt. Each decision is based on love. I have two gorgeous boys, I love them so much. Now I would love to experience having a daughter too. I feel it is our right to have this experience is the technology exists. I dream of adding a girl into our loving mix but it is really sad that I have to travel to another country to do this, and pay money we can't afford for travel and accommodation. I think it should be "our choice" to be able to do this here in our home country. Full stop.
PLEASE allow gender selection in Australia. I have 2 beautiful boys & yearn for a girl. Ever since I was a little girl myself I dreamt of having a daughter one day. I think I just expected I would as my mother had a boy & girl so, so would I. We only wanted 2kids so when we found out our 2nd baby was a boy at 18wks scan, I cried & allowed myself to grieve for the loss of the daughter I would never have. I cried for the pretty pink clothes, dresses & girly toys & dolls I'd never buy, the girly movie nights, the netball games, jazz ballet classes, Playing hairdressers, barbies, tea parties... Shopping, coffee, long phone calls, planning her wedding day and having a baby (I know my sons will probably get married & have kids oneday but it's not the same- I will be the mother in law). I guess I just always dreamt Id have the same mother/daughter relationship I had with my mum. I allowed myself a couple of days to grieve & then moved on & got excited preparing for our baby boy, whom I love to bits & wouldn't swop him for a girl ever now. But now not a day goes by where I don't think about trying for a 3rd baby - a girl. I try to push it out if my mind & be content but the feeling just won't go away. We are seriously considering going to Bangkok next year for gender selection but the expense of flights/accom/spending om top of procedure and the length of stay is proving to be a major factor. I've made enquiries & for us all to go it's making it seem impossible. Our other option is to leave our 2kids in Australia but I can't bare the thought of being away from little ones (currently 3 & 11mths) for approx 11-14 days... Have only ever had 1 night apart, so feel physically sick at the thought of leaving them for more than a couple of days. Plus having been to thailand before, all that time in Bangkok city is not our idea of a relaxed family holiday. Would be easier on soooo many levels to have this procedure available in Australia. I hope what I've said makes sense & doesn't come across that I don't love or want my sons because I absolutely do - but I feel incomplete not having a daughter.
A mum to 3 adorable boys I would love a baby girl. However we are not willing to try naturally for another baby. My husband is 1 of 3 boys, his bother just welcomed his 2nd son. Hope of a girl are nil. After crying when I found out my last baby was a boy I felt the most guilt I have ever felt. He is my baby boy (now 5yrs) and I adore him to pieces. No I wouldn't swap him for a girl or wish that he was a girl he is perfect. But I would like a daughter and gender selection is the only I will get one. If it was legal in Australia it will save me from traveling to achieve it. If parents are willing to pay why is it a problem? Our govt allows people to buy cigarets and pays their medical bills when they get cancer. Our govt. prevents adoption at every turn. Why does this need to be debated? Come on Australia!!!!!
After 5 boys why dont i have the right to expierience raising a daughter ,my boys are the loves of my life and are treated wonderful they bring me so much joy but not having a daughter is a sadness i feel everyday ,it feels like a piece of my soul is missing ,it is a pain that never goes away . How dare the Ethics board decide for me that i shouldnt be able to choose ,as the mother why dont i get to decide, its my body ,my family, my future child. What angers me is this same ethics board allows abortion up to 20 weeks, so one could find out gender at an early scan and abort ,THATS LEGAL but its ILEGAL testing a bunch of cells and implanting the gender you want ?? I would love for them to explain that. I am very happy and blessed that i will be traveling overseas to have this procedure very soon , knowing i can have this procedure has given me alot of peace ,just a shame that because of the Ethics board beliefs /opinions ,i can not stay in my own country to do it.
Interesting point about the social sex selection issues. Since certain cultures don't place importance on the female sex, perhaps they should just be allowed to self-eradicate. There is little point in protecting cultures so short sighted at the expense of others who simply would like to be allowed to enjoy all life has to offer. I would never wish it on my worst enemy to be a daughter born to a father who believes that she is worthless and that a son would be worth twice her value. This is a sick mentality, so I say leave them to their male child planning and see where it gets them.
My side and my wife side has no girls for 2 generations. We have 2 boys already and eagerly awaiting for a girl. To avoid us travelling to travelling overseas for sex selection and mess up health with the untrusted/unregulated clinics in overseas. This become a burden to australia medicare. All these problem can be resolved if australia can allow the sex selection and burden on medicare can be reduced. Also helps to boost local economy. If US allows why cann't we in australia?
I agree with legalizing sex selection in Australia. I have a beautiful two year old boy and am having a second boy now. I was a little sad when I found out I was having another boy as I really wanted a girl, I don't mind how, very excited to see my second son. But I'm saying that I yearn for a daughter. I grew up in a girl family and my husband grew up in a boy family. In a few years ill try again for a girl and if I get a third boy I will very much consider going overseas for gender choosing. I believe if you have two or more of one gender I don't blame people for wanting the other, but at the end of the day I am very happy I can actually have children.
Pregnancy, having a family is such a personal thing, we shouldn't judge each other, because our circumstances are all so unique and relative to our own situation. I have been lucky enough to have two beautiful boys, and would love to compliment them with a sister. If PGD was available I would do it in a heart beat. I think if it is implemented with careful consideration i.e. families with multiple same sex children being the main criteria we are not creating designer babies. At the moment it is because only a few privileged can afford to go overseas to do it. Potentially it would reduce the birth rate because couples would stop "trying" to get the gender they want. Incidentally I agree with Rebecca's comments.
I think it should certainly be legalised but very tightly regulated. I have 2 gorgeous boys and have found out I am pregnant with another little man. Whilst my love for this son will be no less than my other children I have an extreme sadness at the thought of never having the daughter I so badly long for. Currently the options are to travel over seas and spend large amounts of money or like so many families are doing and keeping on going until they get that desired gender ending up with 5+ kids and still never getting the gender they desire. This isn't about designer babies or being materialistic you love your children no matter what gender but there is a deep inner desire to have children of both genders, to experience what its like raising children of both genders. My whole life I have spent collecting memories and keep sakes to pass onto my daughter (eg wedding dress), I have always imagined myself with a daughter and now imagining not having one is breaking my heart and is something im having trouble dealing with on a daily bases especially when my current 3 children shouldn't go without in order for us to save the money to travel overseas and hence will probably never be an option for us. Gender disappointment is very real and until u experience it can't understand.
It' a shame really - yet another law taking away our freedom.. Just imagine the government would decide you are not allowed to chose your own hair colour anymore.. Just kidding a bit btw, but really, our babies sex is a personal decision like living healthy instead of going obese - how can those who were voted by "us, the people" strip away our freedom with such a law that really makes no sense at all. (we are not talking about cloning, it's only a decision about the sex of our babies we still "produce" as woman and man from our own bodies.. David and Family PS: Got 3 boys, we'll have a daughter, no matter how hard you make it for us - it's just sad we are feeding a foreign economy as a result - unbelievable really..
I think gender selection should definitely be available to anyone who chooses to go down the IVF path. We have the technology to do this, so why not? Just like with finding out the gender of your child when having your 18-20wk scan is optional, there will always be a lot of people who want a surprise still. This doesn't mean that everyone else should be forced to do the same. If they made gender selection available to all undergoing IVF, I seriously doubt this would impact upon society in any significant way. The majority of Australians, even if given the option, wouldn't be bothered to go through the whole IVF journey. So why prevent those who want to, or need to use IVF from choosing gender? The end result is a child who will be loved, which is much more important.
My name is Patricia and I am a 28 year old female thinking about how to conceive a child for the very first time. I would like to see sex selection legalised in Aus because I personally want a girl for my first child, and I even researched as a 23 year old on the internet how to naturally increase the chance of having a baby girl. I must say that I have always known that one day wanted a girl as my first born ever since i was a child. If it is not legalised in Aus within a reasonable amount of time, I would definitely consider saving up to travel overseas where I am able to choose my desired gender for my first born baby. It makes me very angry and disappointed that back in 2004 they banned this after 5 years of legal sex selection treatment.
I really hope that someone out there is reading these posts and gender selection will become available in Australia. It isn't a disappointment of not getting the desired sex of baby it's more of a dream of experiencing the wonderful time of raising a child of each gender. I feel safe in Australia and to think that I would have to take the risk to fly to another country to fulfill a dream isn't fair. It is money that could be used to help our country rather than give money to another country. These families would feel a completeness in their life to enjoy. I wish everyone who has posted here and other blogs all the happiness and may all your dreams come true.
How dare someone take away my option to choose ANYTHING? I lead a good life, I obey the law, yet, I am prohibited from balancing my family. Do not get me wrong, I love my sons more than life itself, but I have always dreamed of having at least one daughter. However, I am also unable to continually keep having children...I just can't afford that, and neither can the taxpayers (Centrelink hand-outs anyone!). I must admit, I am against the procedure for first children, but to balance a family....there is no harm. Yes, the chance is always there that the child may be gay, or not wish to conform to typical gender roles, but that is another debate again. If a person can afford the procedure, who does it harm? It certainly causes less harm than the couples you hear about having abortions because they've conceived the wrong gender (I've read numerous reports of this occurring this year), or neglecting the child or leaving the child to die (as I read about recently in Alaska). If the procedure is not for you, then don't do it, but don't stop others from trying to fulfil a life-time dream! So much for Australia being a free country, where we have the right to choice! Make it legal!
Any re-assessment going to happen on this in near future??
There is no harm in being able to select the gender of your child. Many women who have to have c sections are taking risks having more children to balance out their families. Australia needs to keep up with the technology that is available.
I feel very strongly about this as why should many women have to go oversees to get the little girl or boy, they need to legellise gender selection in Australia as there are so many women who want both boy and girl, as a mother to three boys all born by c section i would love to have a girl, now don't get me wrong i adore my boys with my heart but i have always wanted a daughter, now i can have more children but its a risk as it will be my fourth c-section, there are many women in my situation who have to have c sections and end up with the same sex and will keep on going as they want a girl or boy, or who have one or 2 c sections and are told they cant have any more due to extensive scar tissue and so badly want one of each, for a country that's so medically advanced why is this not available come on Australia wake up and get with it